spider
Angelic Newbie
Posts: 21 
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Post by spider on Aug 27, 2013 5:05:09 GMT
Hello ladies~ I'm currently planning a tea party at my house for my comm. I need help deciding on a menu, decor, and music. Here's what I have so far (taken directly from my event page) Now as for decor, I have bouquets of paper flowers already, and I will want to purchase tablecloths. I just purchased a very cute 8 person complete tea set. I'm at a loss for other ideas though, I want to have both backyard and indoor decorations. In addition, I'd like to set up some soft background music. Classical is the obvious choice, unless someone has a better idea. Also, do you think I should have activities, or is that too much for a fairly casual tea party? Thanks for your help ladies  |
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Post by obsixwi on Aug 27, 2013 8:50:46 GMT
Your menu sounds great and very varied; it's great that you thought of all the variables, though you may want to ask about allergies just in case. As for asking for reimbursement- it's not like it's unfair, but I've never really heard of people asking to be paid for an at-home tea party. I think it really depends on your comm- if they're the kind that is used to going out and paying for meets, then they're probably more at home with paying for something they know will be worth it. However, if you're in a comm that doesn't go to paid events very much (for example, some comms with a younger demographic are understandably on tighter budgets than others), then they might not want to go to such an event. If you don't think that they're likely to want to reimburse you, lower your own budget and cut back on the numbers of snacks and teas, and instead ask everyone to bring something (a sign-up sheet will help you make sure it's varied and organized and that everyone contributes). Every time I've been to a meet that asks for people to bring food, there has always been more than enough to eat.
For decor, maybe hanging up garlands would be cute? You could make nametag/placeholders for people to put at their places at the table, too. I think that activities are pretty important, because as interesting as talking around a table is, depending on how well everyone knows each other, it could get awkward or slow. You could have an icebreaker game to start off with, and then when the tea-drinking winds down, maybe a board game.
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spider
Angelic Newbie
Posts: 21
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Post by spider on Aug 27, 2013 10:51:37 GMT
Your menu sounds great and very varied; it's great that you thought of all the variables, though you may want to ask about allergies just in case. As for asking for reimbursement- it's not like it's unfair, but I've never really heard of people asking to be paid for an at-home tea party. I think it really depends on your comm- if they're the kind that is used to going out and paying for meets, then they're probably more at home with paying for something they know will be worth it. However, if you're in a comm that doesn't go to paid events very much (for example, some comms with a younger demographic are understandably on tighter budgets than others), then they might not want to go to such an event. If you don't think that they're likely to want to reimburse you, lower your own budget and cut back on the numbers of snacks and teas, and instead ask everyone to bring something (a sign-up sheet will help you make sure it's varied and organized and that everyone contributes). Every time I've been to a meet that asks for people to bring food, there has always been more than enough to eat. For decor, maybe hanging up garlands would be cute? You could make nametag/placeholders for people to put at their places at the table, too. I think that activities are pretty important, because as interesting as talking around a table is, depending on how well everyone knows each other, it could get awkward or slow. You could have an icebreaker game to start off with, and then when the tea-drinking winds down, maybe a board game. Yes, my comm usually does $-$$ range meet ups, with very few free ones. I know it's unrelated to lolita, but this is what prompted me to ask for a $5 entry fee: In my fiance's fighting game community, one guy in the area opens his house up to strangers, providing food, drinks, electricity, and air conditioning (I'm in Arizona, remember) to strangers a couple times a month. He asks only $5 to cover those expenses for people, waived if they bring their own setup to play the games on. Now, a lot of people have complained about this to him, saying it's not fair and claiming he's pocketing the money etc etc, but every time he does this, people show up by the dozens to his modest house and make a mess, and rack up his AC bill, and eat and drink, all for a $5 "venue" fee that they would most definitely be paying much more for the same experience somewhere other than his own home. I'm doing basically the same thing, only I'm also purchasing decor, preparing and cooking food, and preparing tea with a proper tea set. Although my efforts are not professional catering nor in a restaurant setting, I use the comparison of the English Rose, a tearoom with a similar selection north of Phoenix that our comm is familiar with and frequents... Their prices range from $5 for a pot of tea and a scone to upwards of $25 per person for a pot of tea, a sandwich platter, a scone platter, and a dessert platter. I'm up to about a $200 estimate already, and that's just the most basic of decor and the tea itself. Basically, the way I see it, I'm putting a significant investment into this one meetup, moreso than the attendees, and opening my house up to strangers. I'm the catering, the entertainment, the venue, the janitor, and the electric company for a day. I feel it's fair of me to ask for $5 per person to help me recover some of those expenses. That's my point of view. Now, I understand the attendees possible point of view too: who am I to decide to pay myself to do things in my own home? Where is that money going? Why should I have to pay for my own decision to host a meetup? etc. It's possible that if enough people commit to bringing their own treats, I'll just eat the cost. I don't need to wind up in secrets because I'm trying to do something cute and casual for the community. However, most tea parties are at cons, not at people's houses. You know what con tea parties get? A budget, allotted to them by the con. No one is paying entirely out of pocket for their con tea parties, and they don't even provide the food or drink, to say nothing of the venue. This is no different, I feel, than the $10 entry fee I pay in addition the the con ticket itself for any con tea party I go to. If it truly makes people balk, I'll rethink my gameplan. I just really wanted to provide something fun and cheap and cute for people to feel comfortable attending as their first meet, but if my plans are too grand to support even a $5 fee, I should really lower my own standards. My fear is just that it's going to seem like meeting in someone's boring ugly house and sipping lipton from plastic cups if I don't go all-out. Ah, sorry for that tl;dr ramble. It's possible that it's 3am and none of that makes the sense it does in my head right now, but I really feel a need to explain my point of view, because I feel like this will be a recurring issue in the months prior to the party. ~ Garlands are a cute idea! I've purchase some fake rose vines to hang and wrap around things, I think that'll be cute. I've also purchased small party favors - a pen and stationary for each guest, in a cute gift bag. I might include a flavorful teabag or candy in the gift bags, too. Still deciding. I've gotten a cute rose-patterned lace trim tablecloth for each table (there will be four dedicated tables), I don't know about nametags simply because my comm, sad to say, has a habit of not understanding the point of reservations - I can guarantee if 20 people rsvp, 5 will not make it and 5 more will show up unannounced, hahaha. I'm not going to ask about allergies however. I think having several options to choose from is the best I can do as one person catering to who knows how many varied people, if someone has a specific allergy or a strong allergy, I'll ask them to bring something of their own choosing. If something I've provided triggers their allergy badly, I can remove it. Icebreaker games sound great! I know Michael's has these little cards you can buy that say different things and you fill in the blank, I could have people fill them out, shuffle them, and try and guess who's who. Not sure about a board game, but I'll keep brainstorming mid-tea ideas, thank you for the tip! |
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Post by Jessie-Kate on Sept 25, 2013 17:34:40 GMT
I've had many tea parties at my home and I've always asked people to bring a dish if possible and never asked for money. (I'm not saying that it's unacceptable for you to ask for money, though) I make 2 types of tea, a salad, something like sandwiches, and occasionally a desert. People usually bring plenty of desert, so I usually don't feel like I need to make any. If you have people bring things, ask them to tell you what you plan to bring in advance so that you can avoid having two or more of the same thing. Someone usually comes early to help me set up, and cleaning takes HOURS, but I consider it an okay cost to hosting an occasional tea party with my friends.
I think you should decide between charging guests OR encouraging them to bring food. It might be a good idea to say "bring a dish OR $5," but then some people might just bring $1 cookies from the grocery store and that's boring.
Another thing is you should consider how difficult it will be to make 6 teas. You need to have 6 tea pots and at least 3 large kettles going at once and it is a much bigger hassle than it sounds like. Sometimes I feel frustrated just trying to have 2 types of teas. Not to mention, 6 types of tea for 8 people is just too much. A lot of tea is going to get wasted, and I wouldn't be surprised if at least one pot went untouched! I recommend having the guests vote on which 2 or 3 types of tea will be served, and that way you know you won't make one no one is interested in. I would also make sure you have juice, lemonade or hot chocolate available for anyone who doesn't like tea.
If you want some variation in the background music, you could make a playlist with classical music, the kamikaze girls soundtrack, and maybe Kyary or something.
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